Wiener Hacked

“Great Junk, Anthony.”

This was just one of the many tweets and emails allegedly sent by California State Senate candidate “scott weiner.” They appeared yesterday on a Wikileaks site under the title “Scott’s Junk Mail.”

editorial sarcasm graphic

Unanimous, the international hackers known for anonymity, said in a statement, “A host of messages have cumm out between Scott and former Congressman and sexter Anthony Weiner. “There is an expected spillover effect resulting from the two Weiners joining together.”

Unanimous took credit for the hack, publishing additional messages, but could find no evidence to support Scott Weiner’s claim to be gay. ‘It’s all just straight-up bullshit,” they said. In response, Scott pointed to his online video with the pokemon go app. “I poked the mon and went,” said Weiner, in a racist imitation of Jamaicans.

FBI director Cum-Ye disputed the claim that Unanimous was behind the hack. “We have definitive proof, or at least some belief, that the hack came from Russia, despite their efforts to squirrel themselves away. We are hot on the trail of Natasha Fatale, a known associate of the infamous, and now believed dead, Boris Badenov.”

Dewey Ward, a spokesperson for LAGAI – Queer Insurrection, once again disputed claims that Weiner is “one of us.” “He’s as queer as Roy Cohn.”

Author: lagai

LAGAI-Queer Insurrection is one of the oldest radical queer liberation groups in the U.S. We publish UltraViolet, a more or less bimonthly newspaper, which is mailed free of charge to over 1500 people, including over 800 prisoners. Our website is www.lagai.org.

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