President-elect Voldemort has declared his nominee for the office of Dementor-General. Geoff Sekkkions, Chief Auror of Alabamaworts revealed that he is glad to accept the nomination and that his first spell of the day is to ban the subversive Muggle-produced newsrag UltraViolet from the Magical Correctional Institute at Azkaban.
“I have ordered all district Dementors to use The Pen of Invisibility to strike out offending sections that encourage our magically imprisoned to think of themselves as actual people.”
Following this announcement it has been reported that wizards across the country have gathered in groups in the shape of a pentagon, and began vigorously shaking their wands over the Constitution.
@Voldemort: #Pentagon protest stupidest thing I ever heard. It will have no effect because I am #ALLPOWERFUL.
@Voldemort First order of business: #Pentagon protesters will be executed.